Long Goodnight
by Etienne
Summary: Isolation and loneliness can affect even the staunchest of spirits and Satoshi Hiwatari is no exception. (shounen-ai, satoshixdaisuke)


Long Goodnight by Etienne  
  
Wow, this is the first bit of fanfiction I've written in a long, long time _@. Hope it's up to par. The title comes from the song "Long Goodnight" by The Get Up Kids and is also partial inspiration for this fic. The other half comes from my love of Satoshi and my even greater love of SatoshixDaisuke. If all goes well, this fic will be a medium length, multi- chaptered fic full of stereotypical teenage angst, mild violence, and lots and lots of SatoshixDaisuke moments that should hopefully make you squeal. And now, enjoy!  
  
\...\ - Indicates thoughts.  
  
D.N.Angel, Satoshi, Daiskue, etc. are owned by Yukiru Sugisaki 'cause if I owned them, there'd be a lot more boy love in those pages.  
  
Prologue  
  
Satoshi paused at the gates of the school and spoke softly to the boy standing behind him. "What is it, Niwa?"  
  
The aforementioned started in surprise at being addressed, but soon recovered and walked tentatively up to stand next to his classmate. Satoshi looked down at Daisuke, waiting for whatever message the other had lingering on his lips.  
  
"Hiwa... Hiwatari-kun, is... ev-" He stopped mid-stammer and seemed to change his mind. "Well, er... have a nice weekend, Hiwatari-kun." Daisuke smiled nervously, inclined his body in a slight bow, and made a hasty exit down the sidewalk. Satoshi watched the red head walk away, his feet crunching in the new snow.  
  
"Niwa-kun..." The name slipped off Satoshi's lips rustily, like the school's creaky, wrought iron gate, but Daisuke was too far away to hear his name being called. He shook his blue locks as if to clear his mind of the fire burning in his head. His mind alight with thought, Satoshi turned and began the cold, lonely walk back to his apartment.  
  
+ + +  
  
Click.  
  
The door opened, but no one was there to greet him except the dust motes twirling quietly in the light from the opposite window. Satoshi breathed a half-sigh and shuffled in, closing the door behind him with a soft swish. He sat down on the floor and began to remove his ice and snow covered shoes. After getting the first shoe off, he tugged half-heartedly on the laces of the other.  
  
It feels colder than usual, he mused silently.  
  
This observation was more excuse than fact as the thermostat right next to his head read a comfortable room temperature. Satoshi's chill was only an excuse for a chillier loneliness, not something he admitted to feeling easily. He paused in his shoe removal and stared at the wall, oblivious to the rapidly melting snow soaking the cuff of his pants. In a sudden rapid movement, he kicked off the remaining shoe and strode forth into his apartment, ignoring the flying object as it struck the wall, leaving behind a slushy print.  
  
An hour's passing found Satoshi sprawled across his bed, hair still damp from his shower. His eyes ran across the ceiling, tracing out patterns in the uneven plaster.  
  
"Me, myself, and I, again, I suppose. There's never anyone else." The last sentence was a whisper, almost undetectable, as if he didn't want to summon the demon inside his head. For the briefest moment, his eyes burned, but he managed to turn the feeling away at the last moment. Satoshi quickly rose from the bed and walked purposefully into the kitchen. He attempted to empty his mind by busying himself by making some tea, but the activity served as only a momentary distraction. A few moments later and he was watching the steam fog up his glasses. He blinked, then removed them, setting them on the kitchen counter. Everything was silent, minus a few weak rumbles from the rapidly cooling teapot and his almost inaudible breath. A vague pounding began to sound in his ears and sluggishly, he realized it to be his own heartbeat.  
  
So loud. So loud. Even these tiny sounds ripped through the silence like scissors through tissue paper. It was almost too much to bear and so very lonely, with only the dust motes for company, day after day after day...  
  
Satoshi pivoted in place and walked swiftly to the door. He turned on his heels once again, this time faced with the mirror hung on the wall next to the doorway. He looked at his reflection and his reflection looked back. Satoshi continued to gaze into the polished glass until a single question, a single observation, drifted into his mind.  
  
\Am I dead? I certainly don't feel alive anymore\  
  
The person in the mirror looked back at him with dead eyes set in a face flushed with life and was no closer to an answer than Satoshi was. He set his mouth in a grim smile.  
  
\Not that it matters anyways. As long as I have a job to do, nothing matters at all.\  
  
He snickered, a sound that projected cruelty, maybe even insanity, but echoed with empty tears. Satoshi laughed and the mirror shattered.  
+++++  
  
Quite short, yes? No worries. The subsequent chapter will be longer, I mostly promise. Please feel free to comment, criticize, and make suggestions as you like. I'll listen.  
  
Also, I'm looking for a beta-reader for both this fic and some others I'm working on. If you're curious, you can read more about it in my profile. Thank you very much. *bows* 


End file.
